I've Gone Away

Late this past Spring, my family suffered another loss which left us speechless and searching our hearts and minds for answers to how something of this sort could happen to one of us. My niece, Erin was engaged to be married to a wonderful young man, Robert. Most all of the plans were set in place, but for waiting for the shower and for the time to come to send out the invitations for the September wedding. Then, one afternoon in April, Erin came home from teaching school to find a coroner on her doorstep with the tragic news that her beloved 25 year-old Robert had died at work from what we would later discover was a massive heart attack.

Driving home to Illinois for the funeral, I listened to a CD of folk songs arranged for flute and guitar. One of the songs was "He's Gone Away" and it set me to thinking of how these time-tested melodies that reside in our collective unconscious seem to have the power to express our deepest human emotions. Used for generations to express realities far more vast than the circumstances in which those who sang them were living, these melodies can still speak powerfully to us during times when our poor powers of speech fail us.

Coming home from the funeral, awash in feelings of grief that I was neither able to contain or successfully expel from my heart, I returned to "He's Gone Away." Playing it over and over, I felt inspired to write an arrangement of it, using words I could imagine Robert speaking to Erin were he able to communicate with her from his place in the kingdom of heaven. We hold firm to our belief that he lives now in the presence of the Lord and the hosts of heaven; among them, Robert's own grandpa who died not so many months ago and Richard, Erin's dad, who seemed to have found his way back into our lives in the remarkably familiar personality of Robert Connor.

My hope is that these words will comfort and bolster Erin's faith and that of the rest of my family. But perhaps others in circumstances of grief and loss may find inspiration and hope in the midst of their suffering as they search for meaning for love that survives the death of the beloved.

How grateful we are to Jeff Bush for the gifts of heart and vocal prowess that he brings to the singing of this tender piece.

Lyrics are posted below after the break.

I've Gone Away

Verse 1
I've gone away, for the Lord as called me home.
But I see you there, trying hard to carry on.

One day you'll see it too:  the glorious face of God;
The God who wipes away these tears of grief you cry.

Oh my love, hold fast to faith.
God is love. God is love.

Verse 2
Though I went first, heaven's time is not like yours.
For God blinks an eye and a thousand years are gone.

But I'll watch over you. Our love will never die.
Just as you cradled me in love,
I'll cradle you in the love of Jesus Christ.
Keep your faith.  Keep your faith.