I've written before that in addition to my involvement in the music ministry at IHM, I am a hospice chaplain for Compassionate Care Hospice, a hospice that specializes in providing end of life care for those who wish to die in their own home. One of the great benefits of a job like mine is that I get to meet a myriad of people from different faith traditions and various walks of life. One such person, was a patient of mine named Carolyn.
Carolyn was that person in her church who published the church's bulletin and each day she would scour the internet for stories that inspired her and then she'd send a mass email to the members of her congregation. Soon after meeting her, she begin including me in her distribution list. She was an inspiration (a word that means taking in breath) to others and she certainly inspired me.
She confided in me that she had two very real fears as she looked at the end of her life. She was fearful that her children would stray from their faith once she was no longer here to guide and encourage them with her own incredibly strong faith. But as she was also suffering from ALS, she possessed a deep seated fear that she would come to the end of her life in a conscious thirst for air, drowning in her own fluid which she might no longer be able to swallow.
I grew to love this lady and in reflecting about it, I think what really hooked me about her was this combination of faith and fear that she so courageously shared with me as I too, am so often a complicated mixture of fear and faith. We prayed about this frequently during the months that I was graced to know and care for Carolyn.
So that summer Michael and I wrote this piece with her in mind and about a month before she died, I took two colleagues with me to sing it to Carolyn a cappella. She had wanted me to sing it at her funeral, but in all honesty, I didn't have the courage to sing a gospel-style song as a solo. Thus it was that when Carolyn died, I thought that was the end of this song, but we had occasion to bring it out again when a member of our parish's music ministry developed lung cancer.
James Cunningham, a longtime, much beloved member of IHM had only in the past year and a half begun playing congos with us. When he succumbed to the cancer that he had courageously battled, we realized that this hymn mirrored the experience of his prayer at the end of the winding journey that was his life. In the end, so many of our music ministers took off work on a weekday to come and honor him, that we were able to sing it at his funeral.
The night of our concert from which the recording is taken, James' family were in attendence and we dedicated this song to both him and Carolyn. As it happened, the two chaplains who had gone with me to sing "Give Me Your Breath" to her were also able to be present. Having my fellow chaplains Elaine Hoffman and Lesley Brogan with us that night was another of God's unexpected gifts to me like the opportunity to have known Carolyn H. and to have played music in my parish with the great James Cunningham!
Lyrics posted after the break...
Give Me Your Breath
Refrain
Give me your
breath, my Lord! Search my inmost being.
Give me your
breath, my Lord! Wash my heart clean.
Give me your
breath, my Lord! Don’t take away your Spirit!
Give me your
breath, my Lord! Have mercy on me.
Verse 1
O Lord, open
my lips
And my mouth will ever sing out your praise.
Create a clean heart in
me.
Let my spirit cling to you.
Verse 2
In your
goodness, O Lord,
And because of your amazing love,
Cleanse me from all my
guilt,
Like you washed away my sin.
Verse 3
I have
taught those I love
Of the wonders of your generous love.
A heart contrite and
humbled
You will never ever turn away.
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